What to do, what to do?

Lately I have felt my creative juices start flowing again. It all started with a trip to have my daughter's photos taken. Being there with my friend from college who succeeded in the photography field when I was too afraid to even enter it, got me thinking about how much I actually miss it. I never really even think of it anymore. I was just telling my husband the other day that I never look at things through a camera lens anymore. I never look at something and say, "oh, that would make a cool picture." That kind of saddened me. I took pretty decent photos and I could've gotten a whole lot better if I had just had some more confidence in myself and patience to learn. I learned enough to pass my classes, but nowhere near enough to be able to go out and do it on my own. I should've gone and been an assistant to a photographer after school. I could be out on my own making pretty good money right now. Instead I am almost a hundred grand in debt for college for like 3 different majors.

Right now I would love to be able to make some extra cash to try and pay down my debt, or at least be paying on the interest. I miss having my own paycheck. I miss meeting people at work. However, I absolutely love staying home with my daughter. That's kind of why I wish I could do more photography. If I could do portraits a few times a week on location or something, it would bring in more income and give me the chance to meet people. I need a better camera though and it appears nobody wants to buy 35 mm cameras anymore, so it would take me forever to come up with the money for a nice digital camera. If I could sell the old one that I have plus a bunch of lighting equipment I have, I could put that towards a new digital camera that takes really good pictures. I just requested some digital photography books from the library because even though I have a degree in Photography, very little of it was digital. I think I had two classes on it and since I didn't have a digital camera, I couldn't really learn as much as I should have been able to. Also, I am so out of practice, I need a refresher.

I don't know, I just feel like that is something I can produce that I can see I've accomplished something. I feel like one day just blurs into the next and I haven't really done anything but play with my daughter. Not that I don't love that, but it would be nice to feel a sense of accomplishment in another area of my life. This is what happens when I have two weeks off from school! I go a little mad. In another few days I won't have time to worry about all this I guess. I suppose I'll be accomplishing school work towards my degree, but that is not quite as personally satisfying. I want to do something creative.

Well, I hope I haven't bored you all to death. If anyone even reads this blog. Probably not. Anyway, I'm off to find something to do. Night all.