Maybe it's because I have a useless two year degree and about one more year to go on a four year degree that may just prove to be equally useless. I have spent thousands upon thousands of dollars and almost ten years of my life attempting to receive an education. For what? I have no real dream job which makes everything all the more difficult, and I have found that what I really want to do is stay home with my daughter and have another child soon. The only problem with that is that my husband has a less than secure job and is in the same boat as me in regards to education and not having a real passion for a certain kind of work.
As we're getting older, we have fewer and fewer options in regards to jobs. The age in and of itself is not the problem, but the fact that we have a family and a home doesn't really allow for big, risky lifestyle changes. I feel strange about this situation because on the one hand, I am completely happy and satisfied with my life the way it is NOW, but I feel like I'm living in a kind of limbo where this is not the future that we had planned and it may be the only kind of future we ever see. Working in jobs that make us miserable and just getting by.
All I want is to be with my family and to have the opportunity to raise my own children. Careers and Education seem to be getting in the way of this desire. What do I do with my life? I want my daughter to grow up to respect me and her dad and to have all the time that she can with us. I don't know if finishing school and getting some kind of job will make her respect me or the fact that I decided that nothing was more important than her and found a way to stay at home with her. I just wish that didn't put so much pressure on my poor husband. Life is hard today. I hope tomorrow holds more hope and promise than today.
No comments:
Post a Comment